Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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