if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
