I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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