whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
