Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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