just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
where are you?
Hypothermia
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
