i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
