dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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