my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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