Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My vagina is officially offended.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
