What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
