Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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