is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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