i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
