We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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