somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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