singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
