Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
sex in a hospital.. check
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