i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
