Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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