you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
