It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
