What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
