Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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