Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize