I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
no you cant smoke seaweed
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
