Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
