are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
