and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
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He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
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it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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