Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
