Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
