That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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