so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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