I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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