Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
