There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
