The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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