i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
