My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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