he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.