what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.