do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
