i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.