Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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