Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
