Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
