...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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