I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
