you would pick up someone in the library
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
