So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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