so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Are my feet made of real feet?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
