Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I have aggressive nipples.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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