She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Be still, my beating vagina.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
