Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I need to align my fucking chakras
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
