If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize