i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
All the doctor said was why
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
