Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize