Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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