hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
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It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
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I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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