this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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