dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Found the puke drawer
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
