this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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