I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
