Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
