My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize